On The Real Tip: Is Body Count Important In A Relationship?
I remember I was hanging out with this guy that I casually date, and I remember him randomly asking me; “How many guys have you had sex with?” Okay.. so technically, it wasn’t random, we were talking about sex in general, and I guess it led up to him asking me that question. I repeat, I was not in a relationship with this guy so I found it weird that he even asked me that. Of course I told him, I mean , who am I to lie about sex, especially when I’m the one that’s having it. When I told him the number he wasn’t surprised at all, he was calm actually. (Maybe my number wasn’t all that great.) It made me think though, what is it about people and wanting to know how many partners you’ve had, and if so, is body count important In any relationship?
Now of course I went around and asked people who I know, what they thought of this question and majority of them either chuckled and looked at me like I should already know that answer, or they simply gave me the answer flat out.
The majority that said yes, felt like body count does, and should matter in a relationship, because there are two important things that you and your partner should be concerned about like:
STDs and HIV/AIDS- You want to make sure you’re safe sexually.
Trust- One might not feel like they are good enough in the relationship, and that might lead to paranoid thoughts of the partner thinking the other partner is being unfaithful.
For the other half, they didn’t feel like body count was an issue because;
You have every right to explore you’re sexuality with whomever, whenever.
It’s your damn body.
You might learn some new sexual experiences from previous partners that your current partner has been with.
But here’s what I don’t understand….
The double-standard of this question. If a single woman says how many partners she’s had, she comes off as a total THOT, especially if it’s a two digit number. They are judged horribly and considered to be easy, and promiscuous women (*Insert rolling of the eyes*). Before they even get to know a woman, they are already in the box of “Not girlfriend/wifey” material before she can even get a chance to show a guy what a great person she is. Without her even knowing it, this girl is also being put into a different kind of box…a side piece/fuck and go girl.
Now if a single man says how many partners he’s had, he’s worshiped and carried on a throne throughout the whole town, so everyone can praise his joyous victory……I’m over exaggerating a bit, but you catch my drift here? Well by then he’s the ultimate player, especially if it was like 5 women at the same time, all in one bed….I mean honestly, this is real life stuff happening somewhere.
Here’s my opinion…..
Look, I’m never one to shy away from these type of questions, hence whenever I get asked that from a guy, I tell him bluntly all the while looking at him with a straight face, wishing he would try and say some disrespectful shit to me…. but if I’m being totally honest, I believe body count should matter, and I also believe it shouldn’t. The reason why I say this is because, yes I do believe that you should at least know how many partners your current partner previously had, so you can feel a sense of security and safeness when you are about to have sex. This is why getting tested on both parts, is crucial in a relationship, or if you are just casually dating. On the other hand, not knowing how many partners your current partner previously had, is not going to kill you and it shouldn’t matter. What matters, is that you are dealing with the person now, and it’s your decision whether you want to continue dealing with him, or not based on him as a person.The same applies to a woman having 2 or more partners does not justify you as a person. It also does not mean that you should shy away from dating other men because you don’t want to come off as doing too much. You shouldn’t have to lie about your body count,own it! Even if you are asked that question who the hell says it’s any of their damn business?